


What Ailed Me

by lologoblens



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F, Hanahaki Disease
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-28
Updated: 2020-09-28
Packaged: 2021-03-07 18:14:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,057
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26701999
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lologoblens/pseuds/lologoblens
Summary: It hadn't always been like this. The day the first petals flew from my lungs I knew something had changed. Everything had changed.Hanahaki Catradora AU
Relationships: Adora & Catra (She-Ra), Adora/Catra (She-Ra)
Comments: 38
Kudos: 249





	What Ailed Me

### Pansy::Queerness& Reclamation 

I stared into the bowl of my toilet at the mess of purple and yellow, made soggy by the water. I felt a tear roll down my cheek and wiped it away. It was then I realized wiping that one tear would do nothing to help the feeling left by the many that had already fallen and dried on my cheeks. I didn’t realize I’d been crying. I flushed, sighing under the weight of this burden, and cleaned my face over the sink. 

Looking at myself in the mirror I could see just how tired I had become. I knew then that I couldn’t keep doing this. I just didn’t know who I could possibly tell? This isn’t normal, it shouldn’t have even been possible. And yet that was the fourth time in as many weeks I had flushed flower petals down the toilet.

That wasn’t the time to deal with the problem though. I ignored it for a little longer. I left the bathroom and picked up the phone I’d left waiting on the edge of my bed. “Hey, I’m back.”

“ _Finally_ , that took forever. I still don’t understand why you can’t just bring your phone in with you.”

“It just feels weird.” 

“Dude, you pee with the door open when I’m over at your place. How is this any different?”

“I don’t know, it just is. Now, were you about to spoil the ending of this book you’re making me read or not?”

“I’m not spoiling anything! I’m just piquing your interest, so you actually read this one.”

Adora laughs heartily. “Well maybe if you stopped ruining the endings, I’d be more inclined to read the books you loan me.”

“Whatever. Even if I did spoil them, _which I don’t_ , it's supposed to be about the journey Adora, not the destination.”

“Hm, whatever you say Catra.”

“Thank you. Okay, so like I was saying, they’re on this ship….”

I hung up fifteen minutes later, the ending to another book I’d never read ruined, and immediately dialed another number.

“Hey Adora! What’s up?”

I could feel the truth ready to burst out of me, fluttering in my throat like the now familiar feeling of flower petals.

“Glimmer? I think I’m gay.”

It wasn’t the truth I’d been expecting to share.

### Violet::Sapphic Love 

My heart raced as I approached Catra’s door. I knocked anyway. Catra was my friend; I _had_ to be able to handle this. I waited a long time; I always do with Catra. She’s always tied up in something and knows I’m happy to be patient.

The door flung open with a flurry of heightened energy. Suddenly I was wrapped in two strong arms and pulled to my best friend’s chest. “Hmm, you always smell so good; like flowers. Is it your shampoo or something?”

“Um…yeah.” My Shampoo has always been rosemary and mint, never flowers.

“Mm, it’s so good, what do you use?”

“Use?”

“Yeah dummy, what brand or whatever.”

“Nothing! I mean, no brand. It’s um…from the farmer’s market.” I was never good under pressure. Catra used to tell me I was born to be a spy. She would say it with a straight face that lasted about ten seconds. Then she would break down into adorable giggling over her own joke. Every time. 

“Dude, that’s the gayest thing I’ve ever heard. Buying your fucking shampoo at the _farmer’s market_.”

“Ha, yeah, _that’s_ me, the gayest". Catra laughed and lead me into the apartment. She goes to sit on the couch, but I hesitated; there was a distinct tickle in the back of my throat. “Hey, I need to use the bathroom real quick.”

“Yeah, course. You okay? You look a little…” The face she made was so silly, but I couldn’t laugh. My panic was drowning everything else out. I couldn’t let people find out about those damned petals.

“A little” A cough broke loose despite my best efforts. “A little what?”

“Green around the gills, I guess?” Catra’s brow had furrowed and her concern scared me. 

“I’m fine, totally fine. I’ll just um…be right back!”

I hadn’t waited to hear any more. Thank goodness I hadn’t too; the moment the door clicked shut behind me dark, velvety purple petal began to drift from my mouth.

### Gardenia::Secret Love 

I had finally done some research; the prognosis wasn’t good. I struggled with whether or not to tell anyone, though I knew I could never tell Catra. She could never know. I felt somewhat emboldened with a name to put what was happening to me. It was somewhat embarrassing though. My body could literally not handle heart ache. And it would very possibly kill me.

I should have known better that to think I could keep it a secret. I was never born to be a spy. I tried my best though. Glimmer came to my apartment one afternoon; we were going to bake together. She said her mother had taught her a recipe over the holidays. 

I opened the door and she had blinked rapidly. “Wow, did you get some new incense or something?”

I let her inside and felt my brow furrow in confusion. “No, why? Do you smell something?”

“Adora, it _reeks_ of gardenias in here.” I’ll never forget the way the heat flooded my face. I have never been so panicked. It was happening more by that point. 

Several months had gone by where it was just once a week or so, usually after seeing Catra. Then she’d gotten that damned haircut. I remember ruminating on how lovely her neck looked without the shroud of her long hair. It’s so long and regal. Since that day if it didn’t happen once in a week, it happened twice. Lately I had taken to gardenias. The do smell lovely but they tasted awful; perfumy and sickly sweet. 

As they grew in my lungs it felt as if even the air, I breathed became fragrant.

I managed to distract Glimmer. I lied, something about a new candle. I kept my mouth shut as much as possible.

### Yellow Hyacinth::Jealousy 

Things stagnated for a long time. It was by no means pleasant, but I had read just how quickly this could escalate. I grew complacent, believing that perhaps what I had read was worst case scenario. I was willfully ignorant of the severity of my illness. I chose to believe that I could spend years of my life this way. I hoped that one day the garden in my chest would become an unremarkable factor of my routine. 

That misplaced faith was shattered exactly one year to the day that I realized my love for Catra. The day I recognized my feelings for what they were. “Adora, I think I met someone.”

“You…”

She scratched at the back of her head and I could tell she was nervous to tell me. I felt the guilt at the implications of that eat away at my stomach. I felt the garden in my chest grow just a little more lush. I felt my breath come with just a touch more difficulty. 

“Met someone, yeah. She’s…I like her. Kinda…perky? But really genuine. I dunno, she’s annoying but like, in a charming way.” She had smirked at me and I remember wanting to cry. A tickle started at the back of my throat. “She kinda reminds me of you in that way.”

The coffee shop we were in felt like it shrunk around me. I was too big for my body. There was scarcely enough room in my lungs for the air I needed. “Oh, that’s great Catra, really. I’m happy for you.”

“Yeah? Thanks, I’m excited. We’re going out on Thursday.”

“That’s great. I wanna hear all about this, I just realized I forgot my wallet in the car though. I’ll be right back.” I hadn’t given her a chance to respond. I didn’t have time to. 

I rushed to my car and ducked behind it. A cloud of small yellow flowers burst forth. It left me coughing harder than I ever had before that moment. It took me a minute to catch my breath.

And then, “ _Adora?_ Oh, my stars, are you okay?” Glimmer walked in front of me, must have spotted me walking through the lot. I could still hear someone shuffling behind me, so I assumed correctly that Bow had seen too. She looked confused at the mess at her feet. “What is this?”

I felt my energy drain from my body. “They’re flower petals Glimmer.”

“ _Flower petals?_ Why are there- “

Bow joined her in front of me and put a hand on her shoulder. It had given her pause. He looked like he could cry. His expression was heart achingly tender. It still haunts me. “ _Oh Adora._ Who?”

Glimmer’s head snapped back and forth between us. I didn’t try to lie, there was no use. The evidence was damning. “Catra. She’s inside.”

He didn’t say anything else, just pulled me up from the ground and tightly to his chest. Eventually Glimmer’s patience had run out. She demanded to be caught up. When Bow finished, she looked like she might cry too. I got a tight hug from her also.

Not wanting to alarm Catra with my absence, I begged them to drop it for now. They let me lead us inside with promises that we would talk about it, and actively look for a solution.

There wasn’t much to find beyond what I had already discovered by that point. We still looked. I still continued to produce petals, now consistently twice a week.

### Orange Lily::Hatred 

Scorpia never deserved my ire. I hated her anyway. 

Catra wanted us to be close so we saw each other often. I suspect she had an inkling about my feelings because she never took to me either. I wasn’t so hard to figure out really. I’ve never had a poker face and the petals that flew from my mouth, at this point every few days, only served as a constant reminder. 

Of course, maybe it was just my personality. My gut is rarely wrong though. I chose to trust it. 

I had Scorpia and Catra over for dinner one night, around six months after they started dating. Scorpia had left immediately after, claiming some meeting in the morning. Catra stuck around longer. We cleaned up from dinner and smoked on the porch, growing increasingly gigglier with our inebriation. 

We laughed like we had when we were little girls, over nothing and everything. I felt light, like I could breathe well for the first time in a year and a half. Then Catra had leaned her head back against the porch swing. She gave me a dreamy look that made my stomach swoop. 

“What if she’s the one Dor?”

My stomach turned to stone. “You’re that serious about her?”

She shrugged and the nonchalance destroyed me. “I dunno about serious. But she makes me laugh, we don’t fight, I guess I don’t see why we’d break up. Plenty of people meet their person by twenty-four, why not us?”

My lungs felt crowded, I needed Catra to leave. Or I needed to leave. I needed to cry and let out the cough fighting in my throat. “I mean, maybe. Sounds a little passive though. ‘Why not?’ doesn’t sound like a soulmate. I’d want there to be infinite reasons why.” I had infinite reasons why. I didn’t share a single one.

Catra had looked at me in a way I couldn’t understand. It made me feel small and exposed. I hated her for it. “Yeah, well I don’t think we all get our infinite reasons person, ya know? I think love just isn’t like that sometimes.”

Catra had made excuses after that and I was grateful. I watched her walk to the car. When she reached the edge of the driveway I called out to her. “Catra?” She turned back to me but said nothing. “I’d hate for you to settle. You’re worth infinite reasons.”

I went inside after that. I didn’t wait for her reaction. I coughed into my hands. When I pulled them from my face, I looked down into them. They were filled with orange petals, stamen and stigma scattered amongst them. It would become a familiar sight to me as I began to produce petals every few days.

It would also become a sight associated with a light burning sensation in my lungs.

### Yellow Tulip::There’s Sunshine in Your Smile

Catra wore her heartbreak well. She ended things with Scorpia herself. She was very reasonable about the whole thing, unsettlingly objective. After two years she didn’t feel excited by the possibility of their future. She said Scorpia deserved more than that, though Scorpia fought her tooth and nail on it. 

I was glad to see her go. 

I was guilty over reveling in my best friend’s heartbreak.

The shift was subtle. One day the petunias I had grown used to seeing every few days since Catra’s break up were replaced by yellow tulips. There were no stems, but the flowers were conspicuously whole, their petals still joined together. Bow had looked concerned when I told him.

When I saw Catra that evening she had been beaming. It lit up the entire room. When she dropped me off at home that night, she kissed me on the cheek for the first time in nearly two years. I suspected it had made Scorpia uncomfortable. I was glad for the gesture’s return. It tore my heart to shreds and fertilized the garden in my lungs.

### Jonquil::Love Me, Desire for Affection 

The Jonquils were interesting. They did not come out in a heap, rather they popped out through the course of the day. I was still not producing them every day though that now seemed inevitable. I saw them every other day, occasionally more. Their mode of appearance made them difficult to hide. I still managed.

With Bow’s growing panic my concern grew as well. I started to toy with the idea of telling Catra. The worst is she could confirm what I already suspected. The flowers told me all I needed to know after all. At least then I could say I tried. 

She invited me on a hike, and I had thought maybe that would be the time. We reached the falls and sat on the blanket I pulled from my backpack. Catra had laid out like a cat in the sun. While her eyes were closed, I hid the flowers I coughed up in my bag. 

Catra peeked an eye open and looked at me. “Hey, are you okay? That cough has gotten to the point of being chronic. I’m afraid you’re gonna cough up a lung.”

I remember grimacing at the expression. I looked away to lie. i hoped that would help. “I’m fine. I’ve talked to my doctor; they aren’t concerned.”

“Okay, well...keep an eye on it. I’d hate to lose my best friend.”

Best friend…”What, too much of a pain to break in a new one?”

That got me the laugh I’d been going for. I reveled in it. “Something like that.”

The silence that followed is comfortable. I broke it anyway. “Hey Catra?” She sounded so sleepy when she hummed, confirming that she was listening. “Do you remember in high school, when we kissed?”

That had her rolling on her side and propping her head up so she could look at me. “What about it?” She frowned at me as she asked. 

“We never talked about it.” 

“Yeah, well it was weird. Didn’t you think?” She looked both vulnerable and agitated. 

“Weird?”

“Yeah, I dunno. Didn’t things feel weird to you for a while after?”

I shrugged because it hadn’t. It had felt nice but impassionate. I’ve always loved Catra. That love wasn’t always romantic. Even then kissing her felt natural. I was always comfortable with Catra; she makes me feel safe. “No.”

It felt like the wrong thing to have said. “Oh, fine. Well we didn’t talk about it because I felt weird and I didn’t want to. And I don’t want to now. So, can you just drop it?”

My heart broke at her anger. I choked back tears and jonquil. “Yeah, of course we can Catra.”

### Withered Flowers::Rejected Love 

With my final shred of hope turned to ash things had taken a turn for the worse. I produced flowers every day. No amount of gum or mouthwash could clear the distinctly floral scent I exhaled. 

The garden inside of me suffered from my hopelessness. The flowers that fell from my lips were withered and faded. Their lifeless forms served as a morbid metaphor for my mental state. My lungs burned as they rose up. They were harsh on my throat and mouth. The pain was an unwelcome reminder of just how serious this could become. 

It didn’t feel fair that I couldn’t just suffer from my heartbreak like everyone else. I wished a few pints of ice cream and weeks of tears could satisfy doctor’s orders. Not that I didn’t try both. Of course, there _was_ no doctor. At least that’s what I had thought. 

One day Bow showed up to my door bursting at the seams with his news. There was a doctor with a very good reputation who specialized in what ails me. The issue being they are decidedly not cheap. It would drain my savings and still take me working overtime for weeks just to make up for the lost work. 

I decided to wait and see if it got worse. I took the overtime just in case.

### Cyclamen::Resignation& Goodbye 

It didn’t take long to get worse. About a month in fact. Then I was producing morning and night; every twelve hours like clockwork. My throat eventually became so raw it affected my appetite and diet. I lost a significant amount of weight. Catra was as worried as anyone. She brought over soup and bread several times a week. She said it made her feel better to be sure I was eating. 

Her kindness seemed to exacerbate the problem if anything. The nights I shooed her out the door in time for the nightly production of cyclamen were the most painful.

She came over one night with a VCR and video tape in addition to my meal. She set me up with food before getting the VCR hooked up.

“Are you ready?” She practically bounced in her seat.

“I guess so, you’re really not gonna tell me what this is?”

“Oh, hush! You have to wait like, twelve more seconds.” She pushed play and snow filled the screen. Then it cut to our faces. I knew instantly what the video was.

I watched our thirteen-year-old selves speak to the camera. Catra was just the same then as she is now, ever the firecracker. “This is dumb.”

“Damn Catra, shut up. You said you’d do this.”

“Ugh, under great duress.”

“You’ll thank me when we’re old.”

“Psh, you think we’re gonna be friends when we’re old?”

“Well what else would we be.”

Young Catra looked shocked on screen. It made the Catra before me bite her lip and look at me with laughter in her eyes over her own antics. “I dunno dummy, enemies probably.”

“You’re the worst. Fine, maybe we’re enemies and digging up this time capsule is what helps us repair or friendship so we can bring peace back to the universe.”

“The universe? You think our friendship would affect the whole universe.”

My on-screen self shrugged and grinned. “Probably. It’s kind of a big deal.”

Catra laughed at me then and I watched myself pull her into a noogie. She protests and pushes at me. “Uh, you’re so dumb.”

My young self looks directly int the camera. “Alright future Catra and Adora. If you’re not still best friends; get your shit together. And future Catra, I know you think this is hilarious. Don’t forget to thank me.” I smirk at the camera and reach behind it. Then the TV turns back to snow.

“Hey Adora.” I turned to face her. She looked me in the eye with a soft, tender smile. “Thanks.”

I call the doctor the next day to be scheduled for my surgery.

### Snapdragon::Deception 

The surgeon is booked out months in advance. It’s three years and a few weeks from the day I realized I am in love with Catra that I’m finally able to get an appointment. By then I was producing full rainbow stalks of snapdragons all throughout the day. 

I waited as long as possible to tell Catra. I knew she’d have questions. I knew they wouldn’t be any that I was prepared to answer. I got to her place and we sat on the stoop in front. I bundled up before coming over, no longer able to keep myself warm very efficiently. It hurts to breathe the cool, fresh air. I ignored it; not much longer to go. 

“I’m um, I’m going away for a while Cat.” 

I receive a sharp look. “ _Away?_ Where the fuck are you going?”

A long suffering sigh escaped me involuntarily. “There’s just something that I have to take care of.”

“Okay…that’s vague. Adora, what’s going on? You haven’t been doing well and I’m worried.”

I could feel the tenderness I have for Catra in my own smile. “Hey, don’t worry about it. I’ll be okay.”

She hesitated; I’d never seen her look so unsure before then. “Why do I feel like you won’t then?”

“I _will_ Catra, things just might be different when I get back.” They told me the effects could vary. The romantic love should inevitably fade. Any feelings of love I have for Catra could disappear as well. Some people never experience romantic love again. Others just don’t make it through the surgery at all. This could still be a death sentence.

Catra grew agitated at my words. “Different, different how?”

“It’s hard to say, but I’m hoping it will be for the better.”

“Better? Things are already perfect. I don’t want anything to change.” She sounded so resentful it made me flinch. 

I wasn’t able to hold back all of my tears anymore. In that moment every bit of the pain hit me. The garden in my lungs stretched their capacity and I struggled for breath. “I need them to though Catra. I…I need them to.”

“What aren’t you telling me? What aren’t you saying? Damnit Adora! Where are you _going_?”

I kissed her on the forehead. I whispered in ear, “It’s gonna be _okay_ Catra, I’m just taking a little break. I’ll be home before you know it.”

She pulled back from me, looking wary and distrustful. “You promise?”

I offered her my pinky which she took reluctantly, “I _promise_.” A cough escaped me, and it was all I could do to choke back the snapdragons I felt in my mouth. “I have to go.”

“What? No! Adora, will you just,“ Another cough. “wait one second? We need to talk,” Another cough, more flowers to swallow down this time. “about this. You’re being really weird and I’m concerned-“ My coughing continues, it was so rough and painful it brought tears to my eyes. “Are you okay? What is up with that cough? It doesn’t sound good.”

I gulped a few petals that stuck in my throat. I pressed a kiss on her cheek and whispered in ear. “I have to go right now. I’ll talk to you soon.”

I couldn’t afford to wait so I left her there. She was still speechless even after I’d turned the corner.

### Daffodil::Unrequited Love; The Sun is Always Shining When I’m With You

Now, my bags are packed. I stand in front of my house. I’m waiting for Bow and Glimmer to come get me so they can take me to the airport. My eyes widen when Catra’s car stops in front of me instead. She’s thundering mad when she gets out. 

“What is _wrong_ with you? And I don’t mean like how you’re sick, though I’d honestly love to know that too. But what kind of person tells their best friend they’re going away “for a while” and then just dips! I’m _worried_ about you Adora. Why won’t you talk to me?” My heart fractures at the break in her voice. I have to stand firm.

I do my best to stay calm. I can feel petals at my throat and my heart races. The ache in my chest reaches a new peak. “Catra, you shouldn’t be here.”

“Shouldn’t… _fuck you!_ This is exactly where I should be.” I choke on the flower in my throat. I feel I could suffocate. “Something is wrong with you, let me help.”

“You _can’t_ Catra. That’s why I’m going away.”

I see the wound in her eyes. “That’s bullshit Adora. At least tell me so I can try.”

“I can’t Catra.” I cough, fighting the flower in my throat. I need her to go. Instead she comes closer. She rubs my back soothingly through my fit. She looks more concerned than angry now. I miss the anger, it was easier. 

“Adora please. I l-just _please_.”

I start coughing as soon as I’ve finished and it’s too late. Lying on the pavement in from of us is an incongruously cheerful daffodil. It’s streaked with blood. My blood.

“What the fuck is that?” I cry. Alligator tears roll down my cheeks. It’s all I can do to catch my breath. It takes a long time but eventually I settle. I register Catra’s hands still rubbing my back. I wipe my face. “Adora…what was that?”

“A flower Catra.” I have no energy to infuse my words with. 

“Adora, I think you know what I’m asking.”

I sigh but give her the smallest part of the truth. I hope it will satisfy her. “I’m sick Catra. I’m going to see a specialist who might be able to fix it.”

“What?” She yelps. “Is it-what disease makes you do… _that_?” She points to the daffodil with a shaky hand.

“It’s called Hanahaki Disease.” 

“Hanah…why does that sound familiar?”

She turns to face me. Her nose is scrunched up. I wish I could kiss it. I’m counting on her not realizing what this is, at least until I’m gone. “It’s really rare. I’m not sure you’ve heard of it.”

“No, no I swear it’s on the tip of my tongue. Hanahaki…” She taps her finger to her chin then suddenly freezes. Her eyes widen and she turns to stare at me. She looks horrified. “No. Adora _no_. I didn’t even think that was a real thing!”

I shrug tiredly. “I don’t think many people are aware.”

“Wait but that means….” Her jaw sets into a hard line that makes my stomach clench and my throat tickle. “Who is it?”

I startle. I thought I’d been so obvious. “What?”

“Who is it? Come on Adora, what kind of fool did you go falling for?”

“They’re not a fool.” I defend reflexively.

She just scoffs at me. “Clearly they are if they don’t want you Adora. You’re a catch.”

“It doesn’t work like that. She’s not a fool for not reciprocating. Leave it alone Catra.”

Catra narrows her eyes at me. Her expression is painted with disbelief and wonder. “She?”

I blush. I realize in that moment that I never came out to Catra. There had been no reason to. Not really. “Well…yeah.”

I’m shocked when she starts crying. “All…all this time. And it’s for someone…someone else?”

My heart stops. “Else?”

Catra steps forward and reaches out a tentative hand. When my posture remains open, she lays it on my chest. “Adora I know…I know this might not be the time, but I don’t think I can possibly not tell you. Adora, I love you. I’m in love with you and the fact that your body is doing this to you, it _kills_ me.” She reaches her other and to cup my face and all I can do is freeze in wonder.

“When you come home…if this works; when you’re ready to move on I’ll be here. Tell me…tell me if you don’t think you could ever want me like I want you. I’ll keep trying to move on. But if there’s even an inkling you could reciprocate one day…I’ll wait for that day Adora. I’ll wait forever.”

My brain is slow to catch up. After what is probably far too long, I meet her gaze. “You love me?”

She rolls her wet eyes. “Yeah dummy, I do.”

I take the deepest, fullest breath I have in three years. The rush of oxygen makes me lightheaded and I crash into Catra. She just barely manages to hold me up. Together we ease to the ground to sit on the curb. Before I can think to speak, my phone rings.

“Hello?”

“Hey Adora, I’m so sorry we’re late! We got stuck in traffic but we’re on our way.” Bow assures me. 

I look to Catra with wide eyes. I take another deep breath. The pain is gone, just a dull ache remains. A ghost of all the from unnecessary heartbreak from the last three years of my life. “I don’t think I need to go.”

“Wait, what? Adora, no. We talked about this.”

“No, Bow like, I don’t think I _need_ to.” I can tell Catra is catching on by the way her jaw drops and her eyes glaze over.

“What are you saying Adora? Listen, we’re almost there okay? We’ll talk-“ The phone is ripped from my hand and Catra puts it to her ear. 

“It’s me, isn’t it?” I can’t tell if she’s asking me or Bow. Either way I’m too frozen to answer. Bow must because she continues, “Yeah, go ahead and turn around bud, she’s not going.” Then she hangs up and just as quickly we’re kissing.

I feel something bloom in my chest but the only thing hindering my breath is Catra’s kiss. The knowledge settles deep in my bones; my heart blooms with a bouquet of bright daises, fragrant ambrosia, sweet forget me nots and dark red tulips.

**Author's Note:**

> I love flowers? I love magical realism? I loved writing this story!! It poured out of my last night while I should've been in bed tbh. I'm enjoying trying out different styles and points of view so that's largely what this was!
> 
> Thanks for reading! I've been loving writing so much the past couple months, largely because of what a validating space this has turned out to be, I'm so grateful.
> 
> Also I've put this in notes before but I'm @lologoblens on twitter and always up for more cartoon content if you wanna find me over there!
> 
> Thanks Again!!


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